Savage2Saint Sobriety April 14, 2024

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." - Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT).

          Taking a personal inventory of ourselves is one of the most important duties we have as a person in recovery. As a Christian trying to walk closer to God and be more Christ-like, taking an inventory should be handled with the utmost priority.

          What is taking an inventory from a recovery standpoint? Inventory is making a list of past hurts and hangups, i.e., the past emotional damage that leads us back to drinking and drugging. These events from our past have a tendency of eating away at us from the inside out. They keep us from having sustained sobriety, healthy relationships, and a fruitful walk with the Lord.

After you make this list, find someone to talk to about each item on it. This person should be someone you can trust with sensitive information. A person you can be completely honest with and a person who isn’t going to judge you. A person you’re comfortable crying in front of and admitting your darkest secrets to. Some recovery groups call them sponsors or accountability partners, but regardless of what you call them, they serve the same purpose...getting toxic and repressed feelings to the surface and out of YOU!

Not having a person you can trust is NOT an excuse to skip this process in your recovery. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to like that when I first got into recovery. I was in prison, but that didn’t stop me from working this step. I began taking these hurts and hangups to the Lord in prayer. You see, we have the greatest Counselor ever just a prayer away. The more we talk to Jesus about the things that bother us, the easier it becomes to talk to others who may be going through the same problems.

          In Matthew 27:65, we have Pilate’s response to the Jews worrying that Jesus’ disciples were going to steal His body. “Pilate replied, “Take guards and secure it the best you can.” This is a very worldly response to handling the situation. They weren’t looking at the tomb as that of the Creator of the universe. They were looking at the tomb as that of a dead man. They were worried about the outside when the miracle was happening on the inside. We have a tendency to worry about the outside of us and disregard that the work Jesus is wanting to do is on the inside.

         Yes, we’ve invited Jesus into our hearts, and we want to be a new creature in Christ, but are we giving Him full access to our heart's tomb? Or are we trying to secure the outside with guards of our own? Smiling faces in front of people, but tear-stained eyes when no one is looking. Putting on a good front, but dying on the inside. I used to let guilt and shame eat me alive. The only escape was when I used drugs. I didn’t see my kids for over a year because I was too ashamed to let them see me. Every relationship I had was unhealthy and toxic. It wasn't until I faced my past that I was able to have a future. I had to give all of me to Jesus, but I had to let him in first. I had to first admit that it was even happening to begin with.

         That's what inventory is. It’s taking the abusive relationships from your past and giving them to the Lord. It’s taking the childhood trauma and giving it to the Lord. It’s taking the hurt you caused other people while in your addiction and giving it to the Lord. I call it your heart's tomb because we have locked these memories away in there and we guard them with our life, but they are slowly killing us from the inside out. It's time to let your guard down. Taking a personal inventory should be each of the following:

I – Intentional - make time to do it.

N – Necessary - You can't leave it on the inside.

V – Voluntary - No one can do it for you.

E – Empowering - You will feel like a ton has been lifted off you.

N – Not Alone - Jesus will never leave you or forsake you.

T – Testimonial - What you've went through will help someone else going through it.

O – Ongoing - This process has to be repeated from time to time.

R – Repairing - Once the infection is removed, then you can heal.

Y – Your growth depends on it - Being healthy allows growth.

         The reason, or why, that we do inventory is this…we will never have the relationship Jesus wants to have with us as long as we’re holding back from Him. The Potter can create a vessel for the finer when we give Him all the broken pieces. God Bless!!!