Savage2Saint Sobriety Dec. 15, 2023

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. - Isaiah 40:29-31 (KJV).

What a comforting group of verses in the Bible! As a former addict, I can't begin to tell you how many times in my addiction I felt tired and worn out from the life I was living. I remember thinking on numerous occasions that there's got to be a better life for me. I barely maintained hope that I still had a chance to be happy and that I could somehow, someway keep drugs from factoring into my future.

I believe a lot of people can relate to similar feelings and not just on a drug or alcohol addiction level. People living in the world, without Jesus Christ, are no strangers to being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression go hand in hand with loneliness and hopelessness in a world that seems to take more than it gives. Too many times I felt like throwing in the towel and accepting defeat. Too many times I did just that by using drugs as a way to escape everything I just described.

We willingly choose drugs and alcohol over dealing with stress. We willingly choose to be afraid instead of resting in the promises in the above verses. It is time we decide once and for all to choose a better way. To choose faith over fear. To choose healing over hurt. To choose hope over failure. To choose love over hate. To choose Jesus over everything else, especially drugs or alcohol. To decide once and for all that enough is enough. These were choices I alone had to make.

I remember when I decided enough was enough. I was using and couldn't keep up with my bills. I quit my job and started selling drugs. My kids and I had nowhere to live, but a friend let us stay with her. After struggling to save any money and falling further and further into my addiction, I finally made a decision that changed me forever. I went to a faith-based recovery meeting that is held in my hometown on Friday nights. The woman I was staying with has a brother who was attending the meeting through a program at the local probation and parole office. I heard Jesus' Words from Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - (KJV).

I was tired and worn out from the life I was living. I could see that the better life I had been dreaming of was right in front of me. I finally had enough of choosing to live a life that was destroying me, and most importantly, destroying my family and the trust they had in me. I decided to choose Jesus! I decided to put the drugs down and choose a better life. A few services later, my future husband walked in with my friend's brother. God has a way of knowing what you need, when you need it, and most importanty, who you need in your life. When you make the choice to follow Jesus above everything, Jesus will give you exactly what you need, when you need it. Do my husband and I get stressed and tired? Absolutely! But just like the above verses say, God renews our strength. We can wake and give our day to the Lord and He performs that renewal everyday!

If you're like I once was...tired, ready to throw in the towel, down on your knees and defeated...all you have to do is lift your head and look up. Turn your focus from all the negative around you and lock your stare on the one who cares for you. God wants us to choose him. God loves us so much that he cares about every single thing that worries us. All we have to do is keep choosing Him!