Savage2Saint Sobriety March 3, 2026

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. - 1 John 3:20 (KJV).

I hated myself. What kind of parent would intentionally go over a year without seeing their kids? What kind of dad would choose drugs over his own children? Would I ever get to be a part of their lives again? Did they even want me to be? I would lie awake at night with these questions running through my head. I couldn't escape; I was a prisoner in my own mind. I replayed all of the mistakes I had made over and over again, but none hurt as bad as the mistakes I made with my children. I hadn't been a good leader for them. I hadn't been a good father to them. It wasn't until I learned that to be a good leader, you have to first learn how to follow. So, I started following Jesus Christ.

I wasn't alone because there are people quietly suffering from self-condemnation, guilt, and shame all around us. There is nothing anyone else can do that will ever compare to the torture a person weighed down with guilt and shame can and will do to themselves. Self-condemnation goes beyond just being hard on yourself. It's much more destructive than that. Self-condemnation is the devil's favorite tool to make a broken person feel undeserving and incapable of loving or being loved in return. The enemy tells us that sin isn't bad but then shames us into believing we aren't worthy of forgiveness.

That's why I love 1 John 3:20, For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. (KJV). I began seeing that God's mercy and grace are greater than my guilt and shame. It wasn't easy at first, but I kept going back to the Word of God anytime I felt the weight of my mistakes pressing down on me. When I felt shame creeping in, I remembered: God is greater than my shame. When I felt guilt weighing me down, I remembered: God is greater than my guilt. When my heart tried condemning me, I remembered: God is greater than my heart. The world wants you to follow your heart, but the Bible tells us the heart is deceitful above all things (Jer 17:9). God wants you to give Him your heart and follow only Him.

In August 2024, I had the privilege of baptizing my youngest daughter, Kinley, and in September 2025, I had the honor of marrying my daughter, Amanda. Turns out that my kids absolutely wanted me in their lives. They were just waiting on me to be the leader and father they needed me to be. None of it would have been possible if I hadn't handed Jesus my heart and allowed Him to make the necessary changes. You will never be able to change your past no matter how hard you try, but Jesus can change your future if you let Him. Follow Jesus, not your heart. God Bless!