Savage About Sobriety March 31, 2023

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. - Mark 4:39

One year ago today Jesus calmed a storm that was raging out of control called my life. That is one year clean and sober off all drugs and alcohol. As this day has been approaching, I have been reflecting back on the last year of my life and the storm that led to Jesus intervening and speaking 'Peace, be still!' over my life.

The storm I'm talking about came in the form of addictions to Meth and Heroin, not having spoken to my kids in nearly a year, not being able to hold down a job due to my addiction, my family not speaking to me, having a warrant out for my arrest to return to prison, and being stuck in a place where I didn't necessarily want to die, but I didn't necessarily want to live, either. Then on March 31st of last year, I overdosed.

By all accounts that I've been told, someone heard me hit the floor and called 911. I didn't breath for over 10 minutes and was purple when the police arrived. After 2 cans of Narcan, no response. One of the responding officers knew my family. When he had to leave to respond to another overdose in the area, he called my family and told them the situation didn't look good for me and suggested they meet the ambulance at the hospital. It looked like doing things "my way" had finally done me in.

In stepped Jesus.

My first memory afterwards was coming to yelling, "NO, NO, NO...WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" There was an officer standing at me feet. He had a strange look on his face like he wasn't sure what he was looking at. I asked him what was wrong with him. I'll never forget his response. He said, "I'm looking at a dead man. You weren't breathing and then you just started breathing again." He was looking at a dead man. In more ways than he knew.

I spent the next two weeks trying to process what had happened. I hadn't spoke to God in a while but there was something in the back of my mind that kept telling me I was only here because of a Divine plan God had for me. I began praying and asking for God's forgiveness and mercy. I asked the Creator of the universe to create a man of God out of me. I completely submitted to God. There was none of the "God, if You will do this or that THEN I will do this or that" in my prayer. I simply told God "I tried it my way and it killed me. Now I'm going to try things Your way. My life is no longer mine. My life belongs to You."

When I said 'amen' to that prayer, I got a sense of peace that I've never felt before. Through continued prayer and reading my Bible, God started showing me that every failure and all the "not quite good enoughs" finally got me to a point where I could surrender to Jesus and what He wanted to do with my life. I'm not saying God was behind the bad things I've done or had happen to me, but God has always used broken people because it's their testimonies that give Him the most glory. 1 Corinthians 1:26-30 (NIV) says, "26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,29 so that no one may boast before him.30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."

Over the last year, I have thanked God everyday for the air in my lungs and the opportunity to get this life right by living for and serving Him. While I am proud of the fact I have been clean and sober for a year now, I am more happy about this Ministry and the Purpose He placed in my heart. There is absolutely no way I could have stayed sober on my own and I owe God all the glory for it. He has blessed me with Shevon and my family now speaks to me again. None of that was possible if I was still using or dead. He calmed the storm in me and can no doubt calm the storms in your life. All you have to do is humbly admit that you can't do it alone and then ask Jesus to save you. That's what Jesus' disciples did in the boat. It's what I did a year ago.